8th House Astrology: The Horror of Love

Horror films arouse such negative emotions in us, and yet it is often the favorite movie choice of dates. The Horror movie projects such ugly brutality, murder, and they often display the morally reprehensible side of human nature. According to a study by Zillmann on couples who watch horror together, he illustrated the reason that opposite gender pairs see horror movies is to establish a certain type of relation on the basis of “his” strength in facing horrors and “her” weakness in seeking support in his arms.

The above study speaks of an important aspect when entering into a full-time relationship and it is the 8th house arena where our emotions are just as heightened, our intensity levels are raised, and where the actual monster may be our other half. What happens when the horror story is enacted within one’s own relationship? The 8th house as well as ruling our intimate partner also rules where we are stalked, bullied, and made to feel powerless. It can be home to some of our greatest battles, it’s the house of sex, desires, and shared possessions and many of these topics reach boiling point in in close relationships.

The 8th house is traditionally regarded as the life, death and rebirth house, governing sexual relationships, and destiny. A deep mystery always needs to be resolved in this sphere of the horoscope. If the 5th house is full of heart, fun and childlike games; the 8th house could be a little more twisted and involves adult games, playing in some dangerous and toxic waters. Rosabeth Kanter has an excellent phrase for intimacy, which I find descriptive of this sphere of life, calling it the “the discovery of Adulthood” for continuing adult growth and change.  The house of Pluto is the unconscious side of relationships; it is here that we are drawn into deeper and deeper levels of engagement, forcing us into the subterranean areas:  what is buried, secret, concealed and hidden, with the end goal of inner transformation and growth.

Some astrologers refer to it as the house of the psychological inheritance, the baggage our family has left for us on the invisible plane, rather like handing us a credit card full of debt that we never accrued. In the Psychological Astrology seminars by Liz Greene and Howard Saportas it was called the “psychogene” dealing with emotional business. It delved into some fascinating aspects of the personality revealing that sometimes the anger of our emotions is acted out for a lot of people, relating back to what is commonly termed the vicious circle enacting itself within a family, with complex problems, frustrated feelings, and painful relationships. Remember how uncomfortable it was when our parents argued, but we also intuitively choose a partner to share our complexes; they may have something similar to resolve. One of the points, made by Liz Greene, that struck me as being true, is that the violent individual usually suffers from the same sense of powerlessness as his victim, and therefore they are a mirror image of one another, hurting from the same wound.

The 8th house is where we unleash our psychological problems, and the game-playing that happens is a substitute for real intimacy, it is the place where unresolved childhood issues burst through in the heat of an argument, and we say nasty things that once said have changed the relationship forever. Wiser folks believe that opening up our soul to someone, letting them into on our thoughts, fears; feelings is what it feels like to be really naked. Intimacy is familiarity, closeness, a private place for two people to exchange love and that’s what being unclothed really means, stripping down to our primary emotional selves, and that is the real turn-on. In Pluto’s house it can be a battleground rather than the playground, but it is through the archway of intimacy that we can bond with others more deeply and form a psychic tie. Only in the 8th house does it describe the extreme feelings of intimate relationships, love, death, pain, depth, and we are kind of thrown into the house of psychologist. Our intimate partners tend to be the ones we psychoanalyze the most along with the self. The power of destructive relationships are in their ability to open up the doors to transformation, but they also have the power to drive us to breaking point, reaching our limit, and often spinning out-of-control.

Love in the 8th house, involving Pluto or Scorpio planets is on a different playing field. One might find it erotic and sexually exciting to have their relationship filled with drama, tension and always in battle mode. Others find it is repulsive, crossing dangerous boundaries, and being frightened by our reactions and those of our partner. We know when our love relationship has turned into a horror show when it is filled with manipulation, head-games and there is cruel behaviour. It can be hard to trust people in the 8th house, it involves suspicion and paranoia, and also secrets locked away. If we are hiding something, then are our partner must also have thoughts, he or she is not openly talking about, and it can be frightening to be kept in the dark.

The 7th house in the horoscope corresponds to relationships; it is the nice side of relating, being courteous and considerate, and always seeking to find balance in the partnership. The house that follows is the 8th house, and it is here where all the hardcore emotional stuff lurks. The former house is related to Libra and correlates with idealistic companionship; it is active (cardinal) cooperation with another. A relationship is often sought to gain self- knowledge by having a reflection from an objective point of view. At the beginning of a relationship we display the Libra symbol, and we adjust to one another, presenting ourselves in the most pleasant light, our behaviour is polite, courteous and flirtatious. However, the flaw to this type of “nice" relating, is that we tend to stuff our real feelings down, as we desperately try hard to maintain the “perfect image”.  A real relationship needs to endure a tough emotional crisis, and pretending just won't cut it.

The 8th house will test our emotional strength binding a relationship closer together or ripping it apart at the seams. It’s a well-known fact that the people closest to us are the ones with the power to hurt us the most, and when a domestic battle breaks out in a relationship, all the unconscious hostility pours forth. The “stuff” we have been avoiding in a relationship for fear of conflict and separation, it is all laid bare, with the ugly face of a jealous, destructive and controlling partner revealing himself. Often Jealousy, possessiveness, and powerful emotions erupt in the partnership as a reflection of the unhealed hurts from the past looking for somewhere to surface (8th) and heal, and are relationships don't have to minefields we just need to learn what real intimacy means.