Bummer Cards: On Seeing The Five Of Pentacles

I pulled three cards for myself with the question:
what do I need to know TODAY and one of my cards was the Five of Pentacles and I was using the Connolly deck and I just didn’t feel the usual meanings we associate with this card, the bummer-ness of it, the misery of the Rider Waite in particular, those two lone figures through the snow and the church light window in the background. I have a heap of decks these days. Maybe there isn’t even any snow in the Rider Waite. The Tarot Illuminati has the snow? (And of course there is snow as we see here.)
But in the Connolly, the woman (she has no partner trudging along with her) is gently leaning on what looks like an iron gate made of pentacles and she’s blindfolded. A cherub about to release the blindfold. She’s about to figure it out. (Google the image to see.)
And maybe this card is just about… not feeling well, not so healthy.
Oh I get it. How ominous. She’s alone but for the angel. But what about that supporting gate, hmm? (Yes I have written a blog post about an image without sharing an image. Like I said, Google it. You’ll see.)
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I wrote those words hours ago (except for the last part which I wrote just now) and that was a big part of my day. Not feeling well due to a medication that I’m getting used to, trudging along in the metaphorical snow and then the blindfold gets removed as I come to realize that taking the medicine at night may straighten everything out.
There I was trying to divorce myself from the darker meaning of the card and it really wasn’t possible. On the other hand, blindfold off and maybe an answer.
Sometimes you feel like you can’t take anymore, can’t hold up anymore and then the Powers That Be add another weight. I don’t know why this is.
How to keep growing my business while having a medical mystery? How to keep working, keep resting, keep finding answers for myself and others.
I am coming to realize the most important thing when dealing with a health matter, besides finding the right doctors/healers to help you, is every day support, whether it’s practical, emotional, spiritual. Every health crisis is a spiritual crisis. Why me (we ask). Why this extra weight? Wasn’t I carrying enough? Did I need this story too?
All day I was thinking: how am I going to write about this. How am I going to stay real on  my blog, without worrying people. So I’m dipping a toe in the water here.
I got no good spin to the Five of Pentacles today except this: the people in many versions of the card keep going. They don’t stop to bathe in the church glow because… I don’t know why but they don’t. They can’t. They don’t go inside. They don’t get a cookie and juice. They stay outside, on the road.
Remember that eventually they WILL get to the Six. Charity. Help they need. And the Seven. Evaluating the present condition. And then Eight. Back to productivity finally. Which leads to the Nine, self-sufficient again. And then the Ten. Grace, glory. money, health.
That’s why, in the Five, they keep going. Because they have where to be. The future.
xx